Friday, June 27, 2008

spinning on that dizzy edge

Alcohol is coloring my brain in warm light right now. I feel buzzed, loose and relaxed. No anxiety. It's nice. I had a good time tonight with my friend Dollface tonight. We did our Thursday night girl's night out. I love hanging out with her so much. Weird but I knew she & I had the potential for a great friendship the very first time I laid eyes on her. It's so good to have someone to talk to.

I feel so out of place when I go out nowadays. I need to find the right place to hang out. I never feel 'at home' anywhere. Everyone is either way younger, or way older, than I am, everywhere I go. The music is not relatable to me. I feel lost and yeah- too old (or too young, depending on the place) I need a hangout. I need a niche.

And now I need my bed. The room is spinning oh my. And I only had 4 drinks!


Candice DeVille said...

I have had some similar experience with feeling older/ younger than the group. Rather than being out of place, I try to see the humor in it and amuse myself with the shenanigans of the crowd.

Sebastian said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Sebastian said...

I’m in the same boat and feel like you do. I have been to EVERY bar here and not liked one yet. It’s basically this city. Its lame crap on a city you left and then came back to but it’s true. If I have to sit in a bar and listen to either Metallica, korn, or 50cent one more time I’ll have an aneurysm. Chicago was awesome in that it had bars for people my age (30s).
So I just don’t got out anymore. It’s lame but probably good for my severely damaged liver anyhow. Sad enough, I know I’m not missing out as I’ve done everything there is to do here many times over. Instead I save up money and travel out of town when I can. Oh, and I work waaayy to much. Good thing I’m antisocial. ANT-TI-SO-CIAL! ANT-TI-SO-CIAL! Haha what ever happened to Anthrax?