Friday, November 11, 2011

The Eyes Have It

Aww, look at that happy little eyeball!

In the last few years, while I have been struggling with my situation, and my depression... one of the saddest thing was to look into my own eyes. The loneliness was so clear in my eyes. They were dull and lifeless and tinged with hurt. It made it hard to even look at myself sometimes.

Now here is a photo that I shot yesterday. Yes I was showing off my new tattoo :P But I am accidentally showing off something else as well. My pure fucking unadulterated HAPPINESS. This is a picture of a person in love, complete and utter L-O-V-E.

Ain't it beautiful...? You know it is ;)

Wednesday, November 9, 2011

True Romance

I had barely turned 21 when I met Dean, the guy of my dreams.

The meeting place was unlikely for a true romance: a cheesy nightclub in Juarez Mexico. But the conversation was fun, the chemistry was serious, and a bold kiss at the end of the night sealed the deal.

He called me early the next morning (a very un-'dudebro' like move... I always liked my men to be men, so this was very good indeed) It was on. And it didn't take long before we were madly in love.

a pic of us on our honeymoon at Disneyland, 1994, omg we were babies!

I don't know how to explain the way we connected so fast, but we did. Our bond was really deep. We got married at the courthouse, just the 2 of us, and no one even knew about it for awhile because we were keeping it to ourselves.

Were we very happy together. But we were also very young. And dumb. Immature even. Inevitably it led to fights of the dumbest kind. Fights over nonsense. We said and did things that hurt each other.

And then we split up. I always regretted it.

We didn't stay in touch. Both of us ended up moving around and traveling the country for a lot of years. And the years added up. The odds that we would ever find each other again seemed pretty slim. I never met anyone else who could possibly be my other half the way he was.

17 years passed by. We both went through a lot. But I never forgot him.

reunited and it feeeeels so goooood... I'm dating my ex-husband and loving it!

And then, 2011: due to the great powers of the almighty internets, Dean tracked me down! Holy moley what a shocker. I'm honestly surprised that I didn't have a heart attack on the spot (I'm old-ish you know!!) We decided to get together... to talk, and to lay the bad parts of our history to rest.

To make a long story short, it was really obbbbbvious once we laid eyes on each other again that all of those old feelings had never gone away for either of us. The first day we hung out, we spent 11 hours in a bar (barflys!)... just talking about anything and about everything. That was one of the most amazing days ever. I knew that I had never stopped loving this guy!

And now? We are back together and even happier than we were before. How often does THAT happen? One in a million odds.

these suckers are not ever coming off, por vida, baby!

Since we are not remarried (yet, that's down the road a bit), we decided to get these kickass tats of each others' initials on our ring fingers. I think the significance of that is pretty obvs *wink*

It seems like no time has passed at all. We fell right back into our happy patterns. But this time, with the maturity and experience and respect that it takes to be in a grown-up, for-realies relationship with another person.

And with a definite appreciation of what we found again together after 17 years.

hd= high def... he still gives me butterflies...

Maybe sometimes the right people meet at the wrong time? Maybe what we have is so intense that we had to be really ready for it? Maybe it was destined for all these years to go by until we got to this magnificent, lucky place, and reconnected? We'll never know. But it happens, people! Take heart!

And Great Odin's Raven, am I ever happy that we have been granted this rare 2nd chance at first love. So far, it's even better the second time around...

I love you, baby <3