Thursday, August 7, 2008

hair today, gone tomorrow (well ok tuesday)

So I have come to a momentous decision.
I am going to cut my hair.

(shhh... don't let it hear...)

See this unhappy face? That is me, thinking... 'lordy it's 150 degrees outside, and I feel like I am wearing a stifling, heavy cape... a cape made of HAIR'.

Are there alternatives? Ohhh yeah... I can always pin it up. Then it feels like I am walking around, balancing a heavy-ass ottoman atop my head... an ottoman made of HAIR.

Same with ponytails and braids... they do restrain the hairmonster a bit more, but they are so heavy they make my neck hurt after awhile.
That shit is heavy.

Sometimes I sit on my hair. It also gets caught in the seatbelt when I drive. It's been known to get shut inside the car door, too, on windy days... so that I am caught, shrieking inside the car, with a hank of my hair flapping outside the car door as I flop around trying to reach the door handle to free myself. Not cool.

It STRANGLES me when I sleep.
I swear sometimes I think it's... alive.

It's been a whopping 14 years (!!) since I last cut my hair. It's high time. I need a change.

I have an appointment at the salon on Tuesday. As for the details about my upcoming cut, you'll just have to wait and see. That is, if the... you know what... doesn't find a way to stop me... *pictures self wrapped cocoonlike in a gigantic web of angry hair* ... eep!


Anonymous said...

It's good to know I'm not the only one who's shut her hair in the car door.

Anonymous said...

Newt, you're not alone. I, too have slammed, sat on, eaten, been strangled by and on occasion have even SNORTED my own hair up a nostril. Not sexy. I relate to the headache you suddenly realize is your ponytail's fault...and I get sick of readjusting myself at night to pull the sweaty little tendrils of long hair from around my I can understand why you're doing what you're doing Shady. New chapter in life, no 'do! Good for you. It IS beautiful, and so know, Shady, you can SELL it. There's folks who will BUY that beautiful hair of yours for nice, fat prices...Google that and see for yourself...I saw a couple of chicks supposedly pulling from 250 to 2500 smacks for a head of healthy, untreated hair like yours. Go see, go see! Cash in, friend. Gosh, it's pretty. ~Randi

Anonymous said...

Um, of course, I meant NEW do, not NO do...unless you were planning to shave it allllllllll.......(doi)

Anonymous said...

Are you getting it properly short or just less long. I fully advocate being brave and going for the proper short option (I did it about 3 years ago), it's the weirdest feeling losing so much hair at once. Your neck gets so accustomed to dragging it around that once it's gone your head feels bizarely light. Like it could float away at any moment because it's not properly anchored any more. And you head bang much too hard because you assume there'll be more hair resistance.

Can't wait to see your new style... You're keeping the cool rogue blonde bits though right?

Anonymous said...

When my hair was long long long I felt ya. Been there, but I made the HUGE mistake of chopping it all off until there was NOTHING left except 3 inches. *sigh*
I can't wait to see what you come up with!

Candice DeVille said...

Bwwahhaa... the transformation is beginning. It is going to look amazing and you'll be able to work some super fabulous styles. I can't wait to see it!

Eli said...

Whoa, fourteen years?! I'd go nuts. I hate shutting my hair in the car door. It's a bit worse when you smoke, having the wind blow your hair into your cigarette. Ick.

I'm terribly curious what you plan to do...

Shady said...

Newt... good to know I'm not the only one either :P

Randi... oh yes I have inhaled my hair as well. I am totally in a state of mind for a big change, and after 14 years of hauling this hair around, I'm looking forward to getting a new 'do. And hmm, wonder if I COULD sell the hair?? *ponders*

B-Bob... yep I am keeping the streaks... I did consider cutting bangs, but, I'd have to lose the streaks (black hair w blonde bangs would be just a little TOO odd for me) so I'm keeping the streaks fo sho. I'm not going to go super-dramatically short, I did that once before- went from waist-length hair to chin-length hair- and I hated it so bad that I think it's the reason I was scared to cut it fot the next 14 years, heheh. But what I'm gonna do IS gonna be very drastic, for ME!

Tara... yeah, see above, I did that too once! I'm not going so drastically short this time, but for me it's gonna be pretty F-ing short. I can't wait :)

SKM... oh yeah, I am looking forward to doing some really cool styles without having to deal with 3+ feet of hair, I think I'll have MANY more options. I'm (happily) nervous and excited!

Eli... I can't wait to see it myself ;) I swear I've been thinking about cutting my hair for about 2 years now, but every time I got close to doing it the people around me talked me out of it. Screw that, I need a haircut! And it's high time :)

Chris Brown said...

Hmmm... maybe I'll wait fourteen years to trim my beard.

Shady said...

Chris... I could send my cut-off hair to you and you could glue it to your face for a killer fu manchu...

Manda Malice said...

The first time I cut my hair I was 16 years old. My mom cried (and still has the 'pony tail' packed away some were) and I felt LIBERATED! With in two years I had shaved my head completely BALD! (I now call that time in my life "The Britney Years")

I hope you feel the same FREEDOM from your hair cut!

Now just think of all the things you can buy with the money you'll save from NOT having to buy GALLONS of shampoo/conditioner!