This week was a busy one filled with windstorms, ghost stories, and beautiful interesting things.
I saw more tons of balloons at the dollar store. An entire ceiling full of balloons. I was so distracted I kept forgetting what I had intended to buy....
I saw the Franklin Mountains get obscured in the dust, Yes, there are mountains back there! *achoo*
I stopped (again) to stare at this beautiful old downtown building that I love... and wished that I could have a peek inside...
...where I later listened to some very spooky El Paso ghost stories!
I stopped and smelled the (big, beautiful) roses at my Grandparent's house...
And then I admired the blossoms in Concordia Cemetery during our ghost tour... where the yucca and the palo verde are blossoming amongst the graves... they were beautiful.
I saw the El Paso mountain star lit up in blue...
And I got excited when I saw this marquee... and I have tickets!
In the last few years, while I have been struggling with my situation, and my depression... one of the saddest thing was to look into my own eyes. The loneliness was so clear in my eyes. They were dull and lifeless and tinged with hurt. It made it hard to even look at myself sometimes.
Now here is a photo that I shot yesterday. Yes I was showing off my new tattoo :P But I am accidentally showing off something else as well. My pure fucking unadulterated HAPPINESS. This is a picture of a person in love, complete and utter L-O-V-E.
I had barely turned 21 when I met Dean, the guy of my dreams.
The meeting place was unlikely for a true romance: a cheesy nightclub in Juarez Mexico. But the conversation was fun, the chemistry was serious, and a bold kiss at the end of the night sealed the deal.
He called me early the next morning (a very un-'dudebro' like move... I always liked my men to be men, so this was very good indeed) It was on. And it didn't take long before we were madly in love.
a pic of us on our honeymoon at Disneyland, 1994, omg we were babies!
I don't know how to explain the way we connected so fast, but we did. Our bond was really deep. We got married at the courthouse, just the 2 of us, and no one even knew about it for awhile because we were keeping it to ourselves.
Were we very happy together. But we were also very young. And dumb. Immature even. Inevitably it led to fights of the dumbest kind. Fights over nonsense. We said and did things that hurt each other.
And then we split up. I always regretted it.
We didn't stay in touch. Both of us ended up moving around and traveling the country for a lot of years. And the years added up. The odds that we would ever find each other again seemed pretty slim. I never met anyone else who could possibly be my other half the way he was.
17 years passed by. We both went through a lot. But I never forgot him.
reunited and it feeeeels so goooood...I'm dating my ex-husband and loving it!
And then, 2011: due to the great powers of the almighty internets, Dean tracked me down! Holy moley what a shocker. I'm honestly surprised that I didn't have a heart attack on the spot (I'm old-ish you know!!) We decided to get together... to talk, and to lay the bad parts of our history to rest.
To make a long story short, it was really obbbbbvious once we laid eyes on each other again that all of those old feelings had never gone away for either of us. The first day we hung out, we spent 11 hours in a bar (barflys!)... just talking about anything and about everything. That was one of the most amazing days ever. I knew that I had never stopped loving this guy!
And now? We are back together and even happier than we were before. How often does THAT happen? One in a million odds.
these suckers are not ever coming off, por vida, baby!
Since we are not remarried (yet, that's down the road a bit), we decided to get these kickass tats of each others' initials on our ring fingers. I think the significance of that is pretty obvs *wink*
It seems like no time has passed at all. We fell right back into our happy patterns. But this time, with the maturity and experience and respect that it takes to be in a grown-up, for-realies relationship with another person.
And with a definite appreciation of what we found again together after 17 years.
hd= high def... he still gives me butterflies...
Maybe sometimes the right people meet at the wrong time? Maybe what we have is so intense that we had to be really ready for it? Maybe it was destined for all these years to go by until we got to this magnificent, lucky place, and reconnected? We'll never know. But it happens, people! Take heart!
And Great Odin's Raven, am I ever happy that we have been granted this rare 2nd chance at first love. So far, it's even better the second time around...
So things are a little hamster-centric around here lately.
Deal with it.
Ha ha kidding. But seriously... I do have a tinge of hamstermania at the moment. Getting to know my new hamster Angelina has been a trip, and has brought back memories.
When I was a kid I wanted nothing. more. than. a. HAMSTER! It was all I dreamed about.
And then, one birthday, I got one.
Here is a pic of me, all pretty in pink for my b-day shenanigans. I remember being extra excited that day as I was allowed to put on some blush for the first time ever. Yeah it was a little on the Baby Jane side. That's ok. I rocked it.
And so what! I had A HAMSTER!!
A sweet, soft, adorable hamster all my own. I would love it, and it would love me, and we would have lovely tea parties and it would travel around in my pocket and I would just snuggle it and cuddle it and pet it's fluffy little furs forever and ever.
Oh, it was all going to be glorious.
But alas, this hamster fairytale was not to be.
From what I recall, this man-eating hamster tried to devour a chunk out of my finger pretty much the very first time I touched it, savagely ripping into my flesh with it's razor-sharp hamster fangs and drawing blood. I cried and cried.
And thus my prior opinion of hamsters can be summed up in this classic little ditty here.
I never had a hamster again.
Until now!
As you guys know I was recently persuaded to adopt a very cute and wee little dwarf hamster, and have been getting to know her. Though I do still feel a little bit of (skin-crawling, paralyzing) fear when she gets near my (soft, bite-able) fingers, things have been going ok so far.
And in our most recent chapter of this new hamster journey, may I present to you... Angelina's new bachelorette pad.
Ta da:
And what a pad it is... everything a lil hamster could want in a pimped out hammie house, and it's all hers.
The elevated wheel not only spins, but spins around a track so that she can get that much-needed exercise. Did you know that hamsters run up to 5 miles per day? True.
It's also got a groovy spiral slide. And a nice upstairs 'dining room' that I can easily access to hand feed/spoil her with treats and snacks. And seeds. And stuff.
Whilst hoping that she does not viciously sink her killer teeth into my fingers.
Ok now this is where hamsters have always gotten me- the facial expressions.
OMG.
Here, she was tearing up some soft new bedding to go inside of her little purple sleepy-den. Nothin is cuter than a hamster with it's cheeks stuffed full, d'aww.
Also, note that ridiculously cute teeny broom. No, she does not use it for cleaning her cage (as if!) And no, she is not an itty bitty witch and does not use it for transportation (ok, Ken? :P) It's for chewin'. And/or chawin'.
Also known as a Djungarian hamster, Dzungarian dwarf hamster, Siberian hamster, or Sapphire Winter White Russian dwarf hamster... whew, that a lotta names for something so little!
As for her name-name... Angelina... well.... I am a big Jersey Shore fan.
There! I said it! And I am not ashamed!
OK, maybe a little ashamed.
Moving on.
So I was at Petsmart getting some supplies for my aquarium when a very evil, evil employee told me that they had a very cute hamster up for adoption. For free. And that said cute hamster needed a good home.
I tried to counter my inner squealing 10 year old by reminding myself that I had nowhere to put a hamster. And then I remembered that I had an empty aquarium. Dammit!
Then he brought her out, and showed her to me...
And ZOMG, she was too cute to resist.
I mean, seriously? Look at her.
So I ended up with a new hammonster.
I like how she looks like she is going 'nyah nyah nyah'... all sinister, like Snidely Whiplash, in this shot.
Since I can't afford to get her a proper habitat til next month, she has a ghetto little home right now... an old aquarium held closed with a bungee cord, with dollar store bowls modified into a wee 'house', and some toilet paper tubes. Heh heh. She seems to be ok with it.
Angelina hadn't been handled much by humans, so I started out with a glove. Because hamsters ARE SCARY!
"That's the most foul, cruel, and bad-tempered rodent you ever set eyes on!!"
Heh heh.
But she has been ok with it so far. She's still a bit scared & nervous, and she has harmlessly nibbled me a few times, more of a curious-exploration-type nibble. She has allowed me to hand feed her, and to pick her up bare-handed...
...aaaannnnd of course, she has also pooped on me half a dozen times (thanks, hammie!)
Fortunately, hamster poops are teeny, smaller than a grain of rice, and thus not too gross.
I have become way too familiar with hamster poops this week.
Though I never anticipated that I would become a hamster-owner, here we are. I love watching her and I think she is adorable. Those sweet, beady black eyes! That stripedy fluff!
Those itsy-bitsy little pink hamster 'hands' wringing each other!
I die.
We are happy to welcome Miss Angelina to our crazy, motley familia. And we all look forward to getting to know her better, and to getting closer to her.
I'm driving in my car, I turn on the radio... I'm pulling you close, you just say no... You say you don't like it, but baby I know you're a liar... 'Cause when we kiss.... mmm... fire...
